Searching for Harry Potter: the Menagerie Quest
by Chloe Veverka
Summary: Everyone's always searching for Harry Potter-to kiss him, kill him, call him names. This is the mini adventure of a grouchy non-early-bird trying to track him down, and how she gets by with a little help from her friends. Pre OotP. Some fowl language.


**A/N: **This was written for love from a muggle's _"Random Writing Challenge." _Bitty Spoilers: Happens between GoF and before the end of OotP. I dedicate this story to my friend Greg, who I always shove my fanfiction at right when I've finished it b/c I need instant critique. Also, he told me that my voice narrated this story in his head while he read it, which disturbed me so greatly I knew I had to acknowledge it. Anyways, this was silly fun to write at 1am, hope you all enjoy it!

**Disclaimer**: _Harry Potter _and all affiliated characters do not belong to me.

**Searching for Harry Potter: the Menagerie Quest**

Sweet slumber. Sweet sweet slumber after a long and trialing night. The taste of the midnight snack still lingers, mmm.

Wait. What was that?

Did...Did someone just poop on her?

A disgruntled pair of ember eyes squinted from their comfy downy pillow, twisting to validate what... Yup, someone had, indeed, pooped on her. And it was a messy delivery. She screeched silently to herself, trying to maintain her signature composure. Blasted hundreds of roommates! She really did hate sharing such a large living quarters; no one could imagine what the floor had once looked like. Probably a pretty stone color once upon a time--before hundreds of owls, finches, sparrows, and other fowls had literally fouled it up. She'd watched one second-year student take a hard spill once; his cloak was definitely not its original black when he found his footing again.

A soft hoot floated from above her head. An apology from the guilty party. Well, that was the least that blasted Hufflepuff twirp could do. He was always doing that to someone. She glared into space and shook her mental fist of fury (for owls cannot draw their wings into fists, as much as they sometimes want to punch people in the throat. Hedwig often wanted to punch people in the throat). For such good finders, why couldn't the Hufflepuff bird find a respectable corner to do that? She ruffled her feathers to help cool off, jarring her neighbors slightly from their sleep. They swiftly passed back out. If owls also had the ability to roll their eyes, Merlin knows she would've done so. Come to think of it, she used to desire hands so she could play cricket, thinking it was an eating contest--but then she learned what cricket REALLY was and lost all interest. Oh well.

She was wide awake now. Great. Surely it didn't matter to her flight feathers that they'd spent a good many hours traveling from Godfather Sirius's hideout to pass along a note. And what happened? The strange faux dog-bloke told her to tell Harry to stop sending her off; that it wasn't safe to send such a magnificent, recognizable owl with the Snake-man-creature-thingie lurking about. While she did hoot with chagrin at the sweet compliment, she had also bit his finger. She was a bloody owl! How was she supposed to tell a human anything? Let alone Harry--she loved her human with all her might, but. Well. _Harry plus staying out of trouble equals epic fail_, she thought to herself as she stretched her legs.

Her movement shook the piece of parchment tied to one leg. Right! _BLOODY RATS OF NIMH! _she cursed out loud, making a modest Ravenclaw barn owl stare at her in surprise. Hedwig glared back sharply with ninja star daggers circling in her eyes. The Ravenclaw owl swiftly hid her face in her back, cowering in fear. No, Hedwig was not a bloody rooster loving up the sun; she was a disgruntled night owl. And she'd completely forgotten to deliver the note to Harry! Her beak clicked with agitation. She must've passed out right when she landed on her perch. Best to find him quick.

With a graceful hop, Hedwig took off. Beautiful snow white wings flapped through the morning sky over Hogwarts. She loved feeling the chill air hit the skin between her feathers, tickling her nerves, reminding her how wonderful it was to fly. _Penguins must feel jipped, _she thought. An upward current caught her wing span and she stopped flapping, riding the invisible waves as she headed for the Gryffindor boys' tower.

Landing just as gracefully as her take-off, Hedwig tapped thrice on the window pane. Yes, thrice; no more, no less. She ruffled her feathers, preparing to greet her green-eyed wizard. Instead, a pair of blue eyes and pillow-combatted red hair appeared before her.

"Oh. Mornin', Hedwig," Ron Weasley semi-spoke, mostly-yawned at her. "Harry isn't here. Dunno where. Try the Common Room?"

Hedwig hooted back and was about to zoom past him when her Spidey senses tingled, telling her to step aside. Within seconds, a fluffy blur passed her while chirping _Morning, Hedwig! _before colliding with Ron's stomach.

_Ron's been pwned_, Hedwig thought to herself.

Down for the count, Ron shouted back, "Bloody Hell, Pig!" and launched into a long string of profanities.

The coast clear, Hedwig looked at the bedroom door, which slowly opened at her mental request. Hogwarts doors were enchanted to allow students' pets easy access to their humans when on delivery. It was a very handy enchantment for those lacking imposable thumbs, after all. _Good morning, Pig_, she spoke to the tiny owl, which was hopping back and forth in front of a livid Weasley. _Mind the Weasley. You know he's not a morning person, _she unnecessarily reminded him.

_I-know-I-know-I-know. I'm working on the whole braking thing_, Pig ensured her in his typical speedy speech. _Show me later, please?_

She sighed. As many times as she'd stayed at the Burrows with Pig, Errol, and their humans, Hedwig felt like some strange maternal-friend-instructor to the younger owl. Chap meant well, but Pig never could slow down. Or fly straight. Or eat without spraying anyone nearby with partly-masticated food. Ricocheting bird seed to the eyes stung like a kick from a threshal--it's sudden and you can't very well see your assailant afterward. Hedwig shook her mental fist of fury again, but spoke with composure. _Sure. Must find Harry now. Goodbye_, she finished before flying down the staircase into the practically-deserted common area. An orange and cream flicker of fur caught her sharp glance.

_Good morning, Crookshanks_, Hedwig called to the tail protruding from a couch.

_Hedwig,_ the tail greeted in a sleepy voice.

Hedwig ruffled her feathers in slight annoyance when the rest of the cat didn't immediately appear from the hiding place. Hedwig was used to Crookshanks' feline tendencies as another common, visiting roommate at the Burrows. But as an owl, she still couldn't understand why cats found it necessary to never be readily available for conversation. They always seemed to be off in their own world, being easily distracted by fuzzy, stringy things. Mmm, fuzzy stringy things like mouse tails. _Mmm, mouse would be a delicious breakfast..._ she accidentally spoke out loud.

_Mmm, mouse, _Crookshanks repeated.

Cat and owl respectively imagined fresh mouse morsels pouring from the sky into their awaiting muzzle and beak in slow motion. Sweet, tender bits of mousie munchies dripping with globs of gravy that glinted in the light. Their eyes twinkled like stars as their bellies filled with yummy mousie...

_Have you seen Harry? _Hedwig inquired, shaking herself from her reverie.

The tail flicked back and forth, back and forth. _I heard his voice a little bit earlier with my Mione. Not sure where they went. But she sounded determined and,_ Crookshanks's yawn interrupted his own speech, _he sounded annoyed_.

_Anything else you can recall?_

The tail swished again. _I think Harry mentioned food. _

_Mmm, mouse_, they simultaneously drawled, drooling over their daydreams.

Again, Hedwig shook herself back to the present._ Food...Perhaps the Great Hall? _

_Thanks, Crookshanks. Good day, _Hedwig replied flying towards the exit. The tail slithered under the couch and out of complete sight.

*

No, Harry wasn't in the Great Hall after all. Hedwig couldn't spot her distinct human from her initial sweep of the bustling room. Passing above the many heads of students scarfing down food (no scent of mousie goodness to be smelled, she was afraid to note), Hedwig headed for a familiar blonde.

"GAH!" the student gave a girly scream at the spontaneous heavy weight. Shake-shake-shake went her tail. Hedwig dropped her well-behaved demeanor and dropped poop all over Draco Malfoy's back.

"Ahem. Hoot," she said in thespian owl speech, which translated to _Prat. _

"Stupid bird!" Malfoy cursed, recovering from his embarrassing moment to fix his hair.

Crabbe and Goyle restrained their snickers as they were the first to notice the "delivery."

"Nice one, Hedwig!" twin Weasley voices complimented as she flew out of the room.

Hedwig landed carefully on a bust that overlooked one of the main halls. A little cramp had announced its presence in her right wing and she needed a quick stretch. Although there were few students about, those that were awake and wandering the hallways immediately noticed her bright white wings within the castle's drab decor. A few students pointed at her in awe and whispered things like "she's a beauty!" and "isn't that Harry Potter's? Makes sense!" (mostly first years still entangled in her human's involuntary popularity). And like her human, she ignored the attention.

_Oh! Good morning, Hedwig!_ a voice croaked from below.

Hedwig peered over the top of the stone head, swiftly spying a green speck speaking to her from behind an armored knight's foot. She fluttered to the ground and into the presence of a green toad sitting beside the armor. _Good morning, Trevor. How are you? _she greeted.

_Fine, just fine. Off searching for one of Neville's pens. I'm certain he dropped it around here. _

_Should you really always be off looking for things? I think Neville spends most of his days looking for you, after all, _Hedwig surmised. She heard Harry talk about it on occasion.

_Oh psh-shaw! Who wants to stay cooped up all day in a tank? Do you like being stuck in a cage? _Both creatures wrinkled their faces and gave mental thumbs down. _Besides, I like a bit of adventure! Plenty to see around here. _

_I think you missed your calling as a bloodhound, Trevor. Anyhoot, maybe you've seen Harry this morning during your searching? Afraid I can't find my human._

_Humans are good at getting themselves lost_, he agreed. They chuckled--well, more like croaked and hooted--at their little inside joke. Professor Snape found this the perfect time to slowly stroll past them. The dreary instructor stared at the sight of an owl seemingly chatting to a toad; and not just any owl, but the owl of Potter. Snape's eyes slithered into slits.

"Potter's owl." Hedwig puffed out her plumage at the informal address. "I suggest you do wise to not tarry on school grounds. Animals should remain in their cages or in their respective outdoor pens." Snape's attention moved onto Trevor, who shook with fear and hopped further behind the knight. Hedwig clicked her beak with obvious challenge; years of tormenting her Harry had made Hedwig just as distrusting of Snape as her human. _I would ninja star dagger your stupid haircut off and then treat your head like the owlery floor if I knew it wouldn't get Harry into trouble, _she thought while brandishing her tail feathers_. _Snape caught the movement and his eyes flickered a hint of discomfortbefore he flourished his cape and continued on his walk, criticizing students failing to uphold the school's rules.

When the coast was clear, Trevor continued, _Think I saw Harry and Hermione head off Hogwarts grounds towards the Bigger Harry's place. _

She blinked in confusion._ Bigger Harry? Or wait, you mean Hagrid's? _

_Oh yes! Hagrid! Don't know why I can never remember his name...I try little tricks like that. He's a big human and very hairy, which sounds like his name. But no matter how often I..._

Hedwig grinned her subtle owl grin. The toad was more like his human than he realized.

*

Hedwig floated through the Hogwarts hallways like a mutant-sized snowflake. She hooted apologies to the Hogwarts House ghosts she accidentally flew through, briefly disrupting their aerial race around the school. A few familiar Gryffindor voices shouted "good morning!" to her as she glided overhead. And she nodded her head at fellow owls that crossed her path en route to their own deliveries. Weekends were a high traffic time.

_Mind the gap, mind the gap, _Mrs. Norris hissed at the birds from her observatory checkpoint on Filch's shoulder. Hedwig mentally rolled her eyes; she really couldn't stand that cat.

When she finally made it back outside, she was tickled pink when she spotted a familiar tall wizard standing on the bridge, wearing a tall hat with matching, bold robes. The wizard had a magnificently long white beard that was just as white as her feathers, and his half-moon glasses flashed sunlight as he turned to greet her approach with a warm smile.

"Why, good morning, Hedwig! What a pleasant morning it must be to be an owl and fly the skies freely!" he said as he offered his arm for her landing. She hooted warmly in return, closing her eyes in happiness when the Headmaster stroked her back. "You know, I have often had dreams where Fawkes and I swap places for a day. When I am in my office hard at work, he occasionally challenges that he leads the harder life, spontaneously combusting left and right, while all I do is eat lemon drops and make nonsensical riddles to irritate students. While I do love lemon drops, I do more than make riddles (that make complete sense in my mind, after all). But I would rather enjoy bursting into embers every now and then if I could; I'm sure it'd be an exciting time. Great conversation starter." Hedwig opened one eye to find Professor Dumbledore's eyes covered in a glassy, daydreaming sheen. It reminded her of her earlier moment thinking about mouse. _Mmm, mouse. Mousie salad with sunflower seeds and bread crumbs. Mousie kebobs mixed with shrew. And... _

"Although I'm sure minced mousemeat pie sounds tempting right now, shouldn't you be making that delivery to Harry?" the sage wizard scolded playfully, pulling back her attention.

Hedwig's already-large eyes widened in shock. _How does he DO that?? _

"Oh, and send Harry my well wishes."

Hedwig flapped her wings once in response before taking off towards the little puff of smoke coming from a little chimney a little distance aways.

*

She landed on the old scarecrow standing guard over Hagrid's garden, narrowly tripping over his hat. There was a time when Buckbeak used to live in that garden; well, really it was just the year before. But the owl did have the chance to see the hippogriff yesterday with Godfather Sirius. Hedwig flinched at their brief reunion. Buckbeak was much, much bigger than she, and very excitable. The hippogriff had wanted to go flying with her, nearly knocking her into the sky with the flap of her much larger wing span. Hedwig had politley declined, but told her host that the kids wished her well. Okay, Hermione wasn't as enthusiastic (remembering the last time she'd ridden Buckbeak, one couldn't blame her).

A floppy-skinned black dog bounded out of the hut's door and over to Hedwig, having heard her landing as clear as day. _Morning, Hedwig!_ he barked. His accent and rambling habit matched Hagrid's exactly, which never ceased to amuse her. The dog scratched its neck furiously, causing his skin to roll over itself like vicious tides. It was hypnotizing in a really creepy way.

_Good morning, Fang. Is Harry inside? _

_Yes, he is! He *and* Hermione. Talking to Hagrid about this and that and whatnot. Would you like something to drink? Maybe a sniff of me bone? Hagrid gave it to me fresh this morning, tastes like chicken! _The dog suddenly stopped in his happy talk. _Oh. That's what happened to Freida. Shame, she was a lovely old hen. _The dog gave a moment of silence. _Oh well! She sure is tasty! _he began again, wagging his tail.

_That's very kind of you, but I'm all right. Just need to give Harry this note. Been searching for him all this morning and I've grown very tired and ready to be done with it. _She stretched out her leg to showcase the parchment. Fang looked at it in slight wonder before the tail went wagging again.

_Right then. Want me to fetch him for you?_

_If you wouldn't mind._

_No trouble, no trouble!_

Fang bounded back inside the hut through his dog door only to emerge a moment later through the same door backward. But he growled and jerked every few seconds, tugging on something as he moved backwards. Hedwig could hear her Harry shouting in confusion on just the other side of the door. There was a distinct *thud* as what she could only imagine was Harry's head hitting the door frame. Hagrid's booming voice commanded Fang to stop his actions, but Fang looked over his shoulder and winked at Hedwig, continuing to tug. Finally, Harry managed to open the door, at which time Fang let go of the lad's trousers. She'd found Harry! Finally!

Just as Harry approached her, Hedwig unleashed her football skills. She lifted her leg, snipped the twine securing the note, and made a sharp kick. The parchment zoomed through the air and smacked Harry straight in the face.

Hedwig raised her wings into the air, screeching _GOOOOAAAAAL_! _FINALLY! MORNING QUEST COMPLETE! Time for brunch!_ She took to the air in search of...well, **not** Harry Potter!

**

*

**A/N 2: **This challenge was motivation for me to finally try writing a story that focuses on Hedwig--like what DOES she do when Rowling doesn't mention her presence? I adore Hedwig and noticed there aren't many stories dedicated to her, so I decided to play around with her characterization. Then all the other pets decided to jump into the mix and here you go! And yes, this story's Hedwig is rather OOC (for I think of her as being playful but very mature), but that's part of my "random" slant.

Reviews are always appreciated!


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